At peace with myself for the first time in a while. I signed up for the real estate class today. I gave notice today (but I gave a month and offered to return after the class on a part-time basis.) I feel good about my decisions. I have a tendency to second guess myself quite a bit, but I do think I have already done this. This decision was a long time in coming. But it feels right. I still have to break it to my mother though. She will call me names and will not listen to my reasoning. Knowing that, I am hoping I can let my new found calm deflect her criticism.
It has been three days since my eldest has run. She is simmering. I can tell that something is going to give soon. I am hoping that I can deflect that too. I am going to try and ignore her bad choices and choose to laugh when she tries to trick me with her manipulations and outright lies. I don't know how it will work, but nothing else has, so might as well give it a try.
Of course this peace could just be exhaustion. I only slept 3 hours last night. My ankle is twice its normal size and pain has been the main focus of my day. Still, I'll take it.
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I was thinking back over some of the advice I had received when I was going through the same thing with my daughter. One of her therapists said "There comes a point in time where you can do no more and you have to step back and let them make their mistakes." I hated hearing it then. I wanted to control the outcome of things. But looking back now I should have headed that advice and lightened up. Some kids just have to learn things the hard way.
ReplyDeleteWe should talk more.